It’s Not Your Fault, I’m just going to blame you!

In this episode, Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski delve into the intricate topic of manipulation, focusing on the aspect of blame. They discuss how manipulators use blame subtly to condition others into accepting responsibility for things that are not their fault. Robin shares her personal experience with a utility company's customer service representative to illustrate the pervasive nature of unwarranted apologies. They emphasize the importance of not internalizing blame and using assertive language to protect oneself from manipulative tactics. The discussion also explores alternative ways to express empathy without taking on blame and practical advice for managing relationships with manipulators. The episode aims to provide insights and tools for listeners to stand firm against manipulative behaviors.

Topics

00:38 Introducing the Topic: Blame
01:13 The Subtlety of Blame in Manipulation
04:16 Real-Life Example: Utility Company Incident
08:29 The Power of Language in Manipulation
12:56 Empathy vs. Pity in Communication
16:30 Conditioned to Take Blame
16:36 Personal Anecdotes of Blame
17:14 Absorbing Stress and Responsibility
17:36 Client's Experience with Blame
18:48 Mindset Shift: Not Internalizing Blame
20:39 Strategies to Refuse Blame
23:06 People Pleasers and Contempt
23:27 Navigating Blame in Relationships
30:06 Concluding Thoughts on Blame